


Do you think love is a laserquest, or do you take it all more seriously?

by sehunnypot



Series: behind the scenes // 2015 kpop-het ficathon entries [2]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Broken!KaiStal, F/M, Kai is a dick here, SMTown - Freeform, Sestal, Soojung needs to be loved but not by some dick who won't give her the time of day, Sorry Not Sorry, f(EXO), kaistal - Freeform, one sided!Sestal, one-sided!Kaistal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 20:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12756012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sehunnypot/pseuds/sehunnypot
Summary: “what do you think about love?”“there is no such thing as love.”“i think love exists.”“oh yeah?” he challenged, opening his eyes to look up at her. “give me an example then.”she looked down at him with a soft yet unsure smile, “love is the way i feel about you.”she confessed three times and all three times, she was denied by someone she thought changed. but she was done - she was bored of these games.





	Do you think love is a laserquest, or do you take it all more seriously?

**Author's Note:**

> once again, i am slowly transferring my drabbles and ficlets onto ao3 because I need to see them all safe and sound in one place! the prompt for this ficlet is the title itself and was part of the behind the scenes ficathon back in 2015! 
> 
> i'm re-reading this and editing it as i go. tweaks are much needed ^^;;

The name calling had gone on for many years. Behind Soojung’s back, people who barely knew her referred to her as the stone cold ice princess, just like her older sister, often seen with distant eyes and a stiff smile. 

Oblivious to the girl’s true self, the mass majority was wrong. Soojung wasn’t as frigid as she appeared - she was shy and closed off when in an unfamiliar crowd, only comfortable around a select group. To closer friends, she used to be known as the kind-hearted soul with unwavering sass.

But past was past. She shut others out although many people tried to help, Soojung locked herself in. Her distant eyes and stiff smile weren’t of cold-hearted nature - her eyes and smile were one belonging to a girl who held onto something for too long, unaware of the pain and hurt it would put her through. 

She wasn’t cold-hearted, she was merely broken.

The young girl’s once playful banter, bright smile, and glistening eyes were gone. Soojung was putting up a show of being alright when, in fact, she was just the opposite. She was sick of pretending to be okay when everything she thought was secured was falling apart. 

But most of all, soojung was tired - she was worn out from being tossed around tby he one boy she thought she loved with all her heart. 

 

 

 

 

“I think i love you, Jongin,” she once whispered to her close friend for the first time, biting her hair after saying it. They were in in junior high then. It took her a lot of courage to cough up that sentence. Days of practicing and gaining encouragement from Amber went to waste. 

Jongin laughed her confession off, unaware of how his reaction affected her. He simply ruffled her hair in a brotherly way before saying, “We’re too young to know what love is, Soojung.” 

Soojung watched him make his way over to Jinri, the supposed beauty of their class. She stared at the two mindlessly flirting across the field, like the last conversation never happened. That was the first time he broke her heart.

 

 

 

 

The second time she confessed was during their highschool days, when everything was about who was dating who, whether they would have a date to the winter and spring formals, and sports events with hot girls and guys at every corner.

Soojung, with a frustrated look on her face and a messy ponytail to match, pulled Jongin to the side of the hallway, avoiding the lunchtime crowd.

“Jongin, what gives? This is the third time you’ve blown me off to hang out with another girl this week,” she tugs on his sleeve like she always did when she was upset. She lifted a lunch bag and shook it to get his attention. “I even brought you your favorite lunch, you jerk.”

He harshly shifted his arm out of her grip. “Why are you so clingy all of a sudden, Jung?”

“Well, why aren’t more considerate of my feelings? You promised we would finally hang out this week after you ditching me several times.”

“Of what feelings?” The boy scoffed, gaze shifting around the hallway. She could tell he didn’t want to bring attention to their confrontation. It would ruin his reputation, after all. His image in front of the student body was more important than what his “so-called” best friend thought of him. She remembered how they were attached by the hip in their younger years, before she confessed to him. Something changed that day but Jongin never brought it up again.

Frustrated with his attitude, she began to rant. “Jongin, are you that blind? For heaven’s sake, can’t you tell that I like you? As in more than a friend like you? I’ve liked you since the seventh gr-”

“Well, i don’t like you that way! Have you ever thought of that?” Hearing the harsh tone in his voice, Soojung froze up before balling her one of her hands into a fist. She felt her body shake and before she knew it, she threw the extra meal she was holding onto the ground, the contents of the container spilling all over the floor. 

“You know what, forget it. Forgive me for even trying to care about your sorry insecure ass and thinking of you as a friend. Sorry for maybe thinking we could be more.” She sent the coldest glare his way before making her way down the hallway, doing her best to hold her sobs in and her shattered heart from completely falling apart in front of the boy she called a friend.

 

 

 

 

The third time she confessed was the last time: they were in college, the high school confession long forgotten by the boy, but still buried in the back of the girl’s mind. But Soojung believed that feelings could change and develop over time. 

Jongin and Soojung had what people would call a push-and-pull relationship during their college years; she hoped that this time, her feelings would be returned. Flirty remarks and lingering touches were exchanged every now and then. Although she tried to forget, he was always in her sight.

“Sehun, it feels different this time. Jongin - he’s more affectionate and kind and I never see him with anyone else,” she tried to defend him.

She met Sehun in her freshman orientation and they were attached at the hip, thanks to their shared dance classes. He appeared sassy and brass, but he was just like her - a person with unfaltering loyalty. “Well, fuck that. that’s because he hides it so well. Once a heartbreaker, always a heartbreaker.”

“But Sehun!”

“But what? I saw him with two different girls this past week at the studio. I’m saying this because I love and care about you, Jung-ie.”

“Yeah, but I love him.”

“Okay, I get that what does he know about love? Absolutely nothing? There is nothing in that shitty brain of his that is capable of love!” The lanky boy went off, pacing back and forth in the small dance room. She eyed her friend as he crouches down in front of her, patting her cheek as a way to comfort her after his jarring words. 

“You love him but he just loves playing with a sweet girl’s heart.” The face he was making looked familiar, almost like the one she gave Jongin when he was hurting. A soft gaze that almost looked like love.

Soojung knew Sehun was trying to protect her from getting hurt again but she had to try. Third time’s a charm, she told herself as she gathered enough courage to speak to Jongin.

“Hey, Jjong?” she called him quietly as they sat side by side by their university’s rose garden. She was seated on a wooden bench with his head on her lap. They often did this during their awkward gaps in between classes. 

“Hmm?” 

“What do you think about love?”

“Soo, please. You know there is no such thing as love.” 

She shook his thought away. “I think love exists.”

“Oh yeah?” he challenged, opening his eyes to look up at her. “Give me an example then. God knows I’ve yet to see that yet.”

She looked down at him with a soft yet unsure smile, “Love is the way I feel about you.”

After hearing those words, he jerked up from her lap and distance himself from his friend. “Soojung, stop it,” his voice suddenly lost all warmth. He stood up, his dark brown eyes fixed in a glare. 

“Stop what?” She raised her voice. “Stop trying to love you? Well, news flash, kiddo. I can’t and believe me, I’ve tried!” Her voice echoed in the empty rose garden.

“Sure, I’ll stop my mind from thinking about you the moment i wake up. And stop it from making me look forward to spending time with you each break we have. I’ll stop trying to milk for moments where you treat me like more than just a friend and confuse the hell out of my heart? Is that what you want, you asshole? You always push me away when I try to tell you how i feel!”

Shocked at his usually composed friend’s outburst, Jongin stood up from the bench. “You don’t love me, soojung.”

“Why do you keep saying that?! Why don’t you believe me when i say that I love you? Are you scared? Is that it?” When she received no reply, she scoffed. “So that’s it, you’re scared of love, of commitment.”

“Jung Soojun-”

“No, don’t you Jung Soojung me, Kim fucking Jongin. You listen to me,” she took a deep breath, body trembling. “You’re a coward, Jongin. That’s what you are. You’re scared of loving someone, of being vulnerable aren’t you? You keep your closest friends at a distance and people who might possible care about you even more further away. You string along girls to fill the void and dump them when they get too comfortable around you.”

“What the hell are you s-”

“I told you to let me talk. I have put up with you for this long and I think I’m an idiot for defending you and trying to love you all this time.” Her heart broke with every word she said but it also felt liberating.

“Sehun’s right. You’re just an asshat who cannot take anyone or anything, for that matter, seriously, not even the girl you grew up with. That’s pathetic.”

“Jung Soojung!” his voice boomed.

“What is it, kim jongin? Scared that someone figured you out?” Soojung spat back as she swallowed the huge lump in her throat. “You know what, I’m sick and tired of your games.”

“Wait, no-”

She ran her fingers through her hair, exhausted with all that was happening. “I’m tired, Jongin. I’m broken, can’t you see? And it’s all because you took my heart and put it on a shelf.” 

“I love you, yes. But Jongin, this- whatever this is - is a shit show.” And she couldn’t handle it any longer. So Soojung, as best as she could, gathered herself. She let out a deep sigh and lifted a hand, signaling she was done with this push-and-pull that lead to the middle of nowhere. 

And for the first time in his life, Jongin actually looked at his childhood friend - the girl with the most beautiful smile and melodious voice - and saw that her eyes, those sparkling brown eyes, had lost that twinkle that shined as bright as the stars. 

Soojung turned, leaving their toxicity behind her and hoped for a better tomorrow. 

Jongin took in her frame, shoulders dropped and head hung low. He realized that she was broken, and he was the one who broke her.


End file.
